The Good Book

[CHORDS]
Ab9  x02320 or play Asusb9 instead: x02330
G11  320011

[CHORD PROGRESSIONS]
   Dm Dm/C Dm/Bb Dm/A     G  Am7 Bdim7 G/B     C  Dm7 Ebdim7 Am7/E     D  Em7 Fdim7 Bm7/Gb
E|-1--1----1-----1---|  |-----------------|  |--------------------|  |--------------------|
B|-3--3----3-----3---|  |-0--1---2-----3--|  |-5--6---7------8----|  |-7--8---9-----10----|
G|-2--2----2-----2---|  |-0--0---0-----0--|  |-5--5---5------5----|  |-7--7---7-----7-----|
D|-0-----------------|  |-0--2---2-----0--|  |-5--7---7------5----|  |-7--9---9-----7-----|
A|----3----1-----0---|  |----0---1-----2--|  |-3--5---6------7----|  |-5--7---8-----9-----|
E|-------------------|  |-3---------------|  |--------------------|  |--------------------|

[INTRO]
Bb                                   F
Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships
        C                            A           Dm   Dm7
And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift
      Bb                           F
So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift
    C                                 C7
And like most gifts you get, it was a book

[VERSE 1]
E|--------|
B|--------|
G|--------|
D|----0-2-|
A|--3-----|
E|--------|

  F                              Bb
I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know
  C                                       Bb       F
I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so
                     F7               Bb               Bbm
If I wanna known how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go
         C                             Bb              F
'Cos the Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book

[VERSE 2]
E|--------|
B|--------|
G|--------|
D|----0-2-|
A|--3-----|
E|--------|

  F                                     Bb
I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good
  C                                                             F
I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would
                            F7             Bb              Bbm
You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood
             C                             Bb                                  F                 Fmaj7
You can't be good without a Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book and it is good for cookin'

[BRIDGE 1]
  Dm                                    A                    Ab9 A A7
I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that
    Bb                                 F              C
The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts
  A                                    Dm     Dm/C       Dm/Bb    Dm/A
I can't read Harry Potter 'cos they're worshipping false gods and that
    G     Am7      Bbdim7  G/B        C         Dm7      Ebdim7 Am7/E
And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, 'cos it's not good

E|---------|
B|-5-6-7-8-|
G|-5-7-8-9-|
D|---------|
A|---------|
E|---------|

[VERSE 3]
  F                          Bb
Morality is written there in simple white and black
       C                                        Bb    F
I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that
                 F7             Bb                 Bbm
Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap
       C                              Bb                                   F                    Fmaj7
You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, 'cos it's good and it's a book, and it's a book

[BRIDGE 2]
  Dm                             A      Ab9 A A7
I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
    Bb                             F              C
The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh
    A                              Dm  Dm/C  Dm/Bb  Dm/A
But as they grew they started misbehavin'
     G           Am7    Bbdim7  G/B    C   Dm7  Ebdim7  Am7/E
So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath
         A                                  Dm  Dm/C  Dm/Bb  Dm/A
When the creatures in your care start being menaces
    G       Am7    Bbdim7      G/B      C   Dm7 Ebdim7  Am7/E   D       Em7 Fdim7 Bm7/Gb
The answers can be found right there in Ge- ne- sis!    Chapter 6, Verse 5-7!  Yeehaw!

[INTERLUDE 1]
G
Swing your partner by the hand
C
Have a baby if you can
    D
But if the voices your head
D7          G
Say to sacrifice your kid
   G            G7
To satiate your loving God's
C               Cm
Fetish for dead baby blood
     D
It's simple fate, the Book demands - so raise that knife up in your hand!

[VERSE 4]
N.C.                                         Bb
Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know
     C                                          Bb        F
If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go
               F7                Bb        Bbm
So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go
    C                             Bb             F       Fmaj7
And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received

[REVIEWS]
    Bb                               F              C
The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse."
    Bb                                 F                  C
The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses."
    A                                Dm      Dm/C    Dm/Bb  Dm/A
The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force.
       G    Am7      Bbdim7    G/B         C       Dm7  Ebdim7  Am7/E  D        Em7     Fdim7  Bm7/Gb
If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book and it is good, and it's a book!" Yeehaw!

[INTERLUDE 2]
G
Swing your daughter by the hand
    C
But if she gets raped by a man
      D                       D7
And refuses then to marry him
N.C.
Stone her to death!

[PRE-OUTRO]
Em                                           B
  If you just close your eyes and block your ears
       C                            G                 D
To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years
     B                                   Em  D C G6
Then morally, guess what? You're off the hook
          A          Bm7  Cdim7   Gbm7/Cb  D  Em7  Fdim7  Bm7/Gb
And thank Christ you only have to read one book

[OUTRO 1]
Dm
Just because the book's contents
     A
Were written generations hence
   Dm
By hairy desert-dwelling gents
A
Squatting in their dusty tents
Em
Just because what Heaven said
    B
Was said before they'd leavened bread
Em
Just 'cos Jesus couldn't read
B
Doesn't mean that we should need
       C
When manipulating human genes
   G
To alleviate pain and fight disease
     C
When deciding whether it's wrong or right
   G
To help the dyin' let go of life
   D                          D7
Or stop a pregnancy when it's just a tiny blastocyst
        B             B7               Em
There's no reason why we should take a look
   D         C
At any other book
          Bm7                 A        Bm7    Cdim7    Gbm7/Cb D        Em7       Fdim7  Bm7/Gb
But the Good Book 'cause it's good and it's a book and it's a  book and it's quite good!

[OUTRO 2]
G Am7 Bbdim7 G/B  C Dm7 Ebdim7 Am7/E
D Em7 Fdim7 Bm7/Gb
G11 G

G                G7
Good is good and evil's bad
    C                    Eb
And kids get killed when God gets mad
          D
And you'd better take a good look
       C7        G
At the Good Book