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The Vasectomy Song

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[Verse 1]
CWell, I went to see my doctor,
I said, "Doc, I can’t pay my Gbills
The rent’s all spent and my truck’s got a dent
And I think I’m a-gettin’ the Cchills
From bein’ forced to sleep alone,
Oh, this house just ain’t a Fhome
We can’t Gafford no more kids
My life is on the skids
Cause my woman says, ‘Leave me alCone’
[Chorus]
Unless I get a vasGectomy,
I gotta get a vaseCctomy
Just oGne little male alteration,
Can Csave us from another altercation
It’s a Gvasectomy, I gotta get a vasCectomy
Oh what a Fvas defereGns it could Cbe."
[Verse 2]
CWell, the next thing I knew
I was layin’ on the table
With the lights shinin’ in my Geyes
They strapped my wrists
And they strapped my ankles
And they double strapped my Cthighs
The nurses were gigglin’
And I was wigglin’ most uncomfortaFbly
When the Gdoctor walked in with a perverted grin
And here’s what he said to Cme,
"It only hurts for a little while
That’s what they Amtell me
That’s what they say, eh heh heh."
[Verse 3]
CWell, it’s two weeks later
And I feel a little better
And my mind is more at Gease
The rent’s still spent,
My truck’s still got a dent
But my woman’s no longer a Ctease
And even down at the office,
There’s a lot more interest in Fme
Oh, the Ggirls all grin when I walk in
And brother, they mean to Cplease
[Chorus]
A man with a vaGsectomy,
You oughta get a vaCsectomy
Well, like a Sunkist orange, I’ve been freed
Cause Cit’s all juice and there’s no seed
With a vaGsectomy,
You oughta get a vaCsectomy
                   F              GN.C.
Oh, what a vas deferens it could
Now here is the part that I like the most
It takes the danger out of bein’ close
               F              GN.C.
Want a vas deferens it could
The snipped those little suckers right in two
And they clamped ‘em off with Super Glue
What a Fvas deferGens it could Cbe

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The Vasectomy Song

by Larry Heagle

Lyrics & chords · Original key

Chords in this song · guitar

[Verse 1]

Well, I went to see my doctor,

I said, "Doc, I can’t pay my bills

The rent’s all spent and my truck’s got a dent

And I think I’m a-gettin’ the chills

From bein’ forced to sleep alone,

Oh, this house just ain’t a home

We can’t afford no more kids

My life is on the skids

Cause my woman says, ‘Leave me alone’

[Chorus]

Unless I get a vasectomy,

I gotta get a vasectomy

Just one little male alteration,

Can save us from another altercation

G C

It’s a vasectomy, I gotta get a vasectomy

F G C

Oh what a vas deferens it could be."

[Verse 2]

Well, the next thing I knew

I was layin’ on the table

With the lights shinin’ in my eyes

They strapped my wrists

And they strapped my ankles

And they double strapped my thighs

The nurses were gigglin’

And I was wigglin’ most uncomfortably

When the doctor walked in with a perverted grin

And here’s what he said to me,

"It only hurts for a little while

That’s what they tell me

That’s what they say, eh heh heh."

[Verse 3]

Well, it’s two weeks later

And I feel a little better

And my mind is more at ease

The rent’s still spent,

My truck’s still got a dent

But my woman’s no longer a tease

And even down at the office,

There’s a lot more interest in me

Oh, the girls all grin when I walk in

And brother, they mean to please

[Chorus]

A man with a vasectomy,

You oughta get a vasectomy

Well, like a Sunkist orange, I’ve been freed

Cause it’s all juice and there’s no seed

With a vasectomy,

You oughta get a vasectomy

F G

N.C.

Oh, what a vas deferens it could

Now here is the part that I like the most

It takes the danger out of bein’ close

F G

N.C.

Want a vas deferens it could

The snipped those little suckers right in two

And they clamped ‘em off with Super Glue

F G C

What a vas deferens it could be

About The Vasectomy Song Chords by Larry Heagle

Learn how to play The Vasectomy Song by Larry Heagle with free guitar chords, lyrics, and interactive chord diagrams. Search for “The Vasectomy Song chords”, “The Vasectomy Song guitar chords”, or “Larry Heagle The Vasectomy Song chords” and you will find this page — transpose to any key, tap chords for diagrams, and use auto-scroll while you play. Perfect for beginners looking for easy The Vasectomy Song chords and for experienced players who want accurate The Vasectomy Song lyrics and chords in one place. Common chords in this song include C, G, F, Am, A.

FAQ — The Vasectomy Song by Larry Heagle

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The chords for "The Vasectomy Song" show the original chord names (including C, G, F, Am, A). Use transpose to move the song into any key that fits your voice or capo.