Now playing

How To Be Dumb

Chords

4.89 votes

Listen

YouTubeYouTube SpotifySpotify AppleApple Music

90BPM

Lyrics & ChordsClick chords to see diagrams

#----------------------------------PLEASE NOTE---------------------------------#
#This file is the author's own work and represents their interpretation of the #
#song. You may only use this file for private study, scholarship, or research. #
#------------------------------------------------------------------------------##
from: Christian Korbanka, Cologne, Germany
e-mail: [email protected]
lyrics and chords of: How To Be Dumb by Elvis Costello
GI was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration
WhDile you were living like a saint
GAnd all the time the very one you trusted
Was waEmshing off somebody else's pBmaint
GNow you've got yourself a brand new occupation
EvDery fleeting thought is a pearl
And beauGtiful people stampede through the doorway of
The fuEmnniest fucker of the wBmorld
FThey're here to help you
DmSatisfy your deBmsire
There's a bright future Cfor all you professional liGars
Now you know hCow to be dDumb
Are you reGady to take your plCace in
The mG/Bodern museum Dof mistakes?
GDon't you know hCow to be dDumb?
Like a buiGlding thrown up oveCrnight
In G/Bone of those revDerse earthquakes
GThey emptied out all the asylums,
DThey emptied out all the goals
GThe "New Bruise" was the name of the dance craze
By "JEmesus Cross and the Cruel NBmails"
GFollowed up by "Tortouzring Little Beaver"
WDith their contraption of barbed wire
GBetween the fear and the fever lies
EmAll the  rejection they reBmquire
FThey'll be howling by midnight,
DmThey'll be drooling by dBmawn
Skulls shrunk down to the size of their brCains
Heads shaven and shGorn
Now you know hCow to be dDumb
Are you reGady to take your plCace in
The mG/Bodern museum Dof mistakes?
GDon't you know hCow to be dDumb?
Like a buiGlding thrown up oveCrnight
In G/Bone of those revDerse earthquakes
TrEmapped in the house of the Perpetual Sucker
Where bittCerness always ends so piDtyful
EmYou always had to dress up your envy in
SCome half-remembered philDosophy
NGow you're masquerading as pale powdered genius
Whose eDvery bad intention has been purged
GYou could've walked out any time you wanted
But fEmace it you didn't have the coBmurage
GI guess that makes you a full time hypocrite
Or sDome kind of twisted dilletante
FuGnny though people don't usually get so ugly
'Til they tEmhink they know what they wBmant
FScratch you own head stupid
DmCount up to three
BmRoll over on your bCack
Repeat after Gme
Don't you know hCow to be dDumb
Are you reGady to take your plCace in
The mG/Bodern museum Dof mistakes?
GDon't you know hCow to be dDumb?
Like a buiGlding thrown up oveCrnight
In G/Bone of those revDerse earthquakes
GDon't you know hCow to be dDumb?
GDon't you know hCow to be dDumb?
GDon't you know hCow to be dDumb?
GDon't you know hCow to be dDumb?

All chords in this song (8)

🎸 Tips from players

Got a tip for playing this song — capo position, easier chords, strumming? Be the first to share one.

Chord Book

670,000+ free guitar chords · free-chords.com

How To Be Dumb

by Elvis Costello

Lyrics & chords · Original key

Chords in this song · guitar

G/B

#----------------------------------PLEASE NOTE---------------------------------#

#This file is the author's own work and represents their interpretation of the #

#song. You may only use this file for private study, scholarship, or research. #

#------------------------------------------------------------------------------##

from: Christian Korbanka, Cologne, Germany

e-mail: [email protected]

lyrics and chords of: How To Be Dumb by Elvis Costello

I was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration

While you were living like a saint

And all the time the very one you trusted

Em Bm

Was washing off somebody else's paint

Now you've got yourself a brand new occupation

Every fleeting thought is a pearl

And beautiful people stampede through the doorway of

Em Bm

The funniest fucker of the world

They're here to help you

Dm Bm

Satisfy your desire

C G

There's a bright future for all you professional liars

C D

Now you know how to be dumb

G C

Are you ready to take your place in

G/B D

The modern museum of mistakes?

G C D

Don't you know how to be dumb?

G C

Like a building thrown up overnight

G/B D

In one of those reverse earthquakes

They emptied out all the asylums,

They emptied out all the goals

The "New Bruise" was the name of the dance craze

Em Bm

By "Jesus Cross and the Cruel Nails"

Followed up by "Tortouzring Little Beaver"

With their contraption of barbed wire

Between the fear and the fever lies

Em Bm

All the rejection they require

They'll be howling by midnight,

Dm Bm

They'll be drooling by dawn

Skulls shrunk down to the size of their brains

Heads shaven and shorn

C D

Now you know how to be dumb

G C

Are you ready to take your place in

G/B D

The modern museum of mistakes?

G C D

Don't you know how to be dumb?

G C

Like a building thrown up overnight

G/B D

In one of those reverse earthquakes

Trapped in the house of the Perpetual Sucker

C D

Where bitterness always ends so pityful

You always had to dress up your envy in

C D

Some half-remembered philosophy

Now you're masquerading as pale powdered genius

Whose every bad intention has been purged

You could've walked out any time you wanted

Em Bm

But face it you didn't have the courage

I guess that makes you a full time hypocrite

Or some kind of twisted dilletante

Funny though people don't usually get so ugly

Em Bm

'Til they think they know what they want

Scratch you own head stupid

Count up to three

Bm C

Roll over on your back

Repeat after me

C D

Don't you know how to be dumb

G C

Are you ready to take your place in

G/B D

The modern museum of mistakes?

G C D

Don't you know how to be dumb?

G C

Like a building thrown up overnight

G/B D

In one of those reverse earthquakes

G C D

Don't you know how to be dumb?

G C D

Don't you know how to be dumb?

G C D

Don't you know how to be dumb?

G C D

Don't you know how to be dumb?

About How To Be Dumb Chords by Elvis Costello

Learn how to play How To Be Dumb by Elvis Costello with free guitar chords, lyrics, and interactive chord diagrams. Search for “How To Be Dumb chords”, “How To Be Dumb guitar chords”, or “Elvis Costello How To Be Dumb chords” and you will find this page — transpose to any key, tap chords for diagrams, and use auto-scroll while you play. Perfect for beginners looking for easy How To Be Dumb chords and for experienced players who want accurate How To Be Dumb lyrics and chords in one place. Common chords in this song include G, D, Em, Bm, F, Dm.

FAQ — How To Be Dumb by Elvis Costello

How do I play "How To Be Dumb" by Elvis Costello on guitar?

Open the free chords for "How To Be Dumb" by Elvis Costello on Free Chord Book. Tap any chord to see its diagram, use transpose to change the key, and turn on auto-scroll to play hands-free.

Are the chords for "How To Be Dumb" by Elvis Costello free?

Yes. The chords for "How To Be Dumb" by Elvis Costello are 100% free on Free Chord Book — no sign-up required.

Can I transpose "How To Be Dumb" to a different key?

Yes. Use the transpose buttons on the song page to shift "How To Be Dumb" up or down by half-steps so it matches your vocal range or capo position.

Can I see chord diagrams for "How To Be Dumb"?

Yes. Tap any chord in "How To Be Dumb" to instantly see an interactive guitar chord diagram with alternate fingerings.

Is "How To Be Dumb" easy to play on guitar?

Many players learn "How To Be Dumb" by Elvis Costello with our free chords. Use transpose and chord diagrams to simplify tricky shapes, and browse related songs by Elvis Costello below.

What key is "How To Be Dumb" in?

The chords for "How To Be Dumb" show the original chord names (including G, D, Em, Bm, F, Dm). Use transpose to move the song into any key that fits your voice or capo.