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Your Horoscope For Today

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[Intro]
C Dm Em F G G7 C F G
[Verse 1]
CAquarius! There's travel in your Ffuture when your Ctongue freezes to the Fback of a speeding Cbus,
Fill that Fvoid in your pathetic lCife by playing Whack-a-mole F17 hours a Cday
CPieces! Try to avoFid any Virgos or CLeos with the FEbola VirusC  
You are the tFrue lord of the Cdance, no matter what those Fidiots at work sCay
CAries! The look on your Fface will be priceless when you Cfind that 40lb Fwatermelon in your Ccolon
Trade toothbrushes with an Falbino dwarf, and give a hickey to CMeryl Streep
CTaurus! You will never fFind true happiness, Cwhat you gonna do, cFry about it?C  
The stars Fpredict tomorrow you'll Cwake up, do a bunch of Fstuff, and then go back to sCleep
[Chorus 1]
 CThat's your Dmhoroscope for toEmday Fay-ay-ay-ay
 GThat's your horoscope for toCdayF  G  
 CThat's your Dmhoroscope for toEmday Fay-ay-ay-ay
 GThat's your horoscope for toCdayF  G7  
[Verse 2]
CGemini! Your birthday Fparty will be ruined Conce again, by your Fexplosive flaCtulence,
Your love life will rFun into trouble when your Cfiance hurls a jaFvelin through your chest
CCancer! The position of FJupiter says that you should sCpend the rest of the wFeek face down iCn the mud
Try not to Fshove a roll of dCuct tape up your nose while Ftaking your driving test
CLeo! Now is not a good Ftime to photocopy your butCt and staple it to your Fbosses face, oh no,C  
Eat a bucket of tuFna-flavored pudding then wCash it down with a gFallon of strawberry Quick
CVirgo! All Virgos Fare extremely Cfriendly and Fintelligent, EXCEPT FOR YCOU!
Expect a biFg surprise today, wChen you wind up with your Fhead impaled upon a stick
[Chorus 2]
 CThat's your Dmhoroscope for toEmday Fay-ay-ay-ay
 GThat's your horoscope for toCdayF  G  
 CThat's your Dmhoroscope for toEmday Fay-ay-ay-ay
 GThat's your horoscope for toCdayF  G7  
FNow you may find it inGconceivable or at the very
lEmeast a bit unlikely that the relFative position of the
Fplanets and the stars could have a Gspecial deep significance
or mEmeaning that exclusively appFlies to only you
But let me gFive you my assurance that these Gforecasts and predictions
are all bEmased on solid scientfic dFocumented evidence
so Fyou would have to be some kind of Gmoron not to realize that
Emevery single one of them is absolutely true
Where was I?
[Verse 3]
CLibra! A big pFromotion is just around the cCorner, for someone much more tFalented than you!C  
Laughter is the vFery best medicine, remCember that when your appFendix bursts next week
CScorpio! Get ready for an uFnexpected triCp when you fall screaming from an Fopen window,C  
Work a little bit Fharder on improving your loCw self esteem, yFou stupid freak
CSagittarius! All your fFriends are laughing bCehind your back, "Kill them..."
Take down all thosFe naked pictures of ECrnest Borgnine you've got Fhanging in your den
CCapricorn! The Fstars say you're an exCciting and wonderful Fperson, but you know they're lCying,
If I were you I'd Flock my doors and windows and Cnever never never nevFer never leave my house again
[Chorus 3]
 CThat's your Dmhoroscope for toEmday Fay-ay-ay-ay
 GThat's your horoscope for toCdayF  G  
 CThat's your Dmhoroscope for toEmday Fay-ay-ay-ay
 GThat's your horoscope for toCdayF  G7  
 CThat's your Dmhoroscope for toEmday Fay-ay-ay-ay
 GThat's your horoscope for toCdayF  G  
 CThat's your Dmhoroscope for toEmday Fay-ay-ay-ay
 GThat's your horoscope for toCdayF  G7  
C C C C

All chords in this song (6)

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Your Horoscope For Today

by "Weird Al" Yankovic

Lyrics & chords · Original key

Chords in this song · guitar

[Intro]

C Dm Em F G G7 C F G

[Verse 1]

C F C F C

Aquarius! There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus,

F C F C

Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-a-mole 17 hours a day

C F C F C

Pieces! Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola Virus

F C F C

You are the true lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

C F C F C

Aries! The look on your face will be priceless when you find that 40lb watermelon in your colon

F C

Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, and give a hickey to Meryl Streep

C F C F C

Taurus! You will never find true happiness, what you gonna do, cry about it?

F C F C

The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep

[Chorus 1]

C Dm Em F

That's your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay

G C F G

That's your horoscope for today

C Dm Em F

That's your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay

G C F G7

That's your horoscope for today

[Verse 2]

C F C F C

Gemini! Your birthday party will be ruined once again, by your explosive flatulence,

F C F

Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest

C F C F C

Cancer! The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud

F C F

Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driving test

C F C F C

Leo! Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your bosses face, oh no,

F C F

Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quick

C F C F C

Virgo! All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, EXCEPT FOR YOU!

F C F

Expect a big surprise today, when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick

[Chorus 2]

C Dm Em F

That's your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay

G C F G

That's your horoscope for today

C Dm Em F

That's your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay

G C F G7

That's your horoscope for today

F G

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very

Em F

least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the

F G

planets and the stars could have a special deep significance

Em F

or meaning that exclusively applies to only you

F G

But let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions

Em F

are all based on solid scientfic documented evidence

F G

so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that

every single one of them is absolutely true

Where was I?

[Verse 3]

C F C F C

Libra! A big promotion is just around the corner, for someone much more talented than you!

F C F

Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week

C F C F C

Scorpio! Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window,

F C F

Work a little bit harder on improving your low self esteem, you stupid freak

C F C

Sagittarius! All your friends are laughing behind your back, "Kill them..."

F C F

Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den

C F C F C

Capricorn! The stars say you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying,

F C F

If I were you I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again

[Chorus 3]

C Dm Em F

That's your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay

G C F G

That's your horoscope for today

C Dm Em F

That's your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay

G C F G7

That's your horoscope for today

C Dm Em F

That's your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay

G C F G

That's your horoscope for today

C Dm Em F

That's your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay

G C F G7

That's your horoscope for today

C C C C

About Your Horoscope For Today Chords by "Weird Al" Yankovic

Learn how to play Your Horoscope For Today by "Weird Al" Yankovic with free guitar chords, lyrics, and interactive chord diagrams. Search for “Your Horoscope For Today chords”, “Your Horoscope For Today guitar chords”, or “"Weird Al" Yankovic Your Horoscope For Today chords” and you will find this page — transpose to any key, tap chords for diagrams, and use auto-scroll while you play. Perfect for beginners looking for easy Your Horoscope For Today chords and for experienced players who want accurate Your Horoscope For Today lyrics and chords in one place. Common chords in this song include C, Dm, Em, F, G, G7.

FAQ — Your Horoscope For Today by "Weird Al" Yankovic

How do I play "Your Horoscope For Today" by "Weird Al" Yankovic on guitar?

Open the free chords for "Your Horoscope For Today" by "Weird Al" Yankovic on Free Chord Book. Tap any chord to see its diagram, use transpose to change the key, and turn on auto-scroll to play hands-free.

Are the chords for "Your Horoscope For Today" by "Weird Al" Yankovic free?

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Can I transpose "Your Horoscope For Today" to a different key?

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Can I see chord diagrams for "Your Horoscope For Today"?

Yes. Tap any chord in "Your Horoscope For Today" to instantly see an interactive guitar chord diagram with alternate fingerings.

Is "Your Horoscope For Today" easy to play on guitar?

Many players learn "Your Horoscope For Today" by "Weird Al" Yankovic with our free chords. Use transpose and chord diagrams to simplify tricky shapes, and browse related songs by "Weird Al" Yankovic below.

What key is "Your Horoscope For Today" in?

The chords for "Your Horoscope For Today" show the original chord names (including C, Dm, Em, F, G, G7). Use transpose to move the song into any key that fits your voice or capo.