Is Free Chord Book really free?

Yes. Free Chord Book is 100% free with no sign-up required. Access 670,000+ guitar chords, tabs, and lyrics for every song you want to learn.

How do I transpose chords to a different key?

Open any song and use the transpose buttons to move every chord up or down by half-steps. Perfect for singers who need a different key or capo players.

Can I see chord diagrams while I play?

Yes. Tap any chord in a song to instantly see its interactive guitar chord diagram, including alternate fingerings and variations.

What's the difference between guitar chords and guitar tabs?

Chords show you which strings to strum together (great for rhythm playing and singing). Tabs (tablature) show you exact note-by-note fingerings, which is great for solos, riffs, and fingerpicking.

Does Free Chord Book work on mobile?

Yes. Free Chord Book is fully responsive and works on phones, tablets, and desktops. Use auto-scroll to play hands-free. There is also a free iPhone app (The Chord Book) and Android app (Free Chords).

Is there an iPhone or Android app?

Yes. Download The Chord Book on the Apple App Store and Free Chords on Google Play. Same 670,000+ songs, transpose, tuner, and auto-scroll — 100% free.

Can I print guitar chords?

Yes. Open any song and tap the Print button next to Save. You'll get a branded chord sheet with the Chord Book logo, ready for practice.

Is there a built-in guitar tuner?

Yes. Free Chord Book includes a free online guitar tuner that uses your microphone and YIN pitch detection for accurate tuning in standard and alternate tunings.

How many songs are available?

Over 670,000 songs with chords, tabs, and lyrics — covering every genre, from rock and pop to country, indie, folk, and Hebrew songs.

Is Free Chord Book a good alternative to Ultimate Guitar?

Yes. Free Chord Book is a fast, ad-free, 100% free alternative to Ultimate Guitar with interactive chord diagrams, instant transpose, auto-scroll, and a built-in tuner — no account required.

SavedFavorites

5 Poofs And 2 Pianos

Chords

4.44 votes

Listen

YouTubeYouTube SpotifySpotify AppleApple Music

Font15

KeyOriginal

Chords

Scroll

Lyrics & ChordsClick chords to see diagrams

Note: this is not mine, I found it on an internet forum, if you tabbed it a) thanks b) 
sorry c) your an idiot to post it on a forum and not expect it to be shared about a bit. Thanks!
(A)                                          E/G#  
Obviously I don't want to infer that being invited onto Friday Night with Wossy
isn't wonderfully affirming, F#mand I know I Eoughta
Aappreciate the risk you took, the bookers who agreed to book
  E/G#                                                         F#m
a Echap who tends to talk about the kinda things that get the BBC in hot water.
And I A6don't want to seem greedy, I'm just saying
(E)
I'd like to be here every week if that's OK.
                              Fo7(or E7b9/F)
And, if you'll hear me out, I think I've got a way
in which F#mwe could do it Epretty easiDly.
You can leave all the boring details to Eme.
       A6*               Eadd2/A*       F#m/A*
It's a brilliant idea, a truly original concept.
A6*                   Eadd2/A*                   E/B  
No one in Britain has ever done anything like it yet.
Picture this - imagine if we had
(A)                   E/G#              F#m         E  D  
five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it's a wicked idea.
Why Asettle for a quartet of E/G#queers
When there's a D/F#possibility of a Epenta-poofter-piano-posse here?
(A)                   E/G#       F#m          E  D  
Five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it'll be ace:
a Ahundred percent more piaE/G#nos and twenty five perDcent more Agays.
Pickup:  E   F#  G#  
(A)
I know, I know, I've seen the problem too.
(E/A)
There's a rumour I am straight, it's true.
(D/A)                                  Dm  
It hurts to admit it, but I'm about as bent
as Wossy himself or DmFiddy Cent.
(A)
But I've already thought it through.
(E/A)
D'you know there's preachers in America who reckon they can do
sexuDality conversions. I've heard them assert
they can D7cure a man of trouser love and turn him onto skirt.
Well I E7don't see why they couldn't pull the same trick in reverse, and we'd have -
(A)                   E/G#              F#m     E  D  
five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it's a revolution
and Aprobably the best soE/G#lution
to the problem you're Dinevitably having with an Eeven number of homosexuals.
Pickup:  E   F#  G#  
(A)
Yes I know your producers might suspect
(E/A)
that the licence-paying public will object
(D/A)                     D  
to the Corporation having yet
another homoDmsexual to pay.
(A)
The Daily Mail will bring the big guns out.
(E/A)
Jan Moir will be frothing at the mouth,
(D/A)
writing further brilliant stuff about
(Dm)                                 E  
the myth about being both happy and gay.
                F#m  F#m/ A  F#m/C#  
But all that moral indignation
will D/F#disappear when they seeA/E  
those Dfour lovely guys and Ame
Bmsinging in perfect harEmony.
    F#m/A  
And all those angry letter writers,
like D/A'Disgusted' from the Isle of Wight
    F#m/A  
and 'Mad' from Hull and 'Outraged' from Leeds
                           E           E7Fo7
and 'Slightly Annoyed' from Berwick on Tweed,
will F#minstantly Echange their Dtune.
They'll be Ableeding-heart liberals by ESaturday noon.
They'll be Dgiving their grandchildren up for adoption
                              E             E7Fo7
in the hope that a gay married couple will adopt 'em.
They'll be Fputting rainbow stickers on their cars,
                        G                       E(Bass line -  A  
 E   F   E   G  A)
and cutting holes in the arse of their leather strides.
And watching 2 pianos and 5 guys
Watching 2 pianos and 5 guys
                            G (picks up on the G in the bass line)
Watching 2 pianos and five ..1, 2 ,3, 4,
(C)               G/B        Am          G  F  
5 poofs and 2 pianos - yeah, it'll be grand.
You can Cnever have too many G/Bpianos or Ftoo much Cman.
(C)                 G/B                         Am  F  
5 poofs and 2 pianos - maybe we could out Jamie Cullum.
GMake it a trio of pianos and a Fbig gay half Cdozen.

All chords in this song (23)

🎸 Tips from players

Got a tip for playing this song — capo position, easier chords, strumming? Be the first to share one.

Chord Book

670,000+ free guitar chords · free-chords.com

5 Poofs And 2 Pianos

by Tim Minchin

Lyrics & chords · Original key

Chords in this song · guitar

E/G#

F#m

E/B

D/F#

E/A

D/A

A/E

G/B

Note: this is not mine, I found it on an internet forum, if you tabbed it a) thanks b)

sorry c) your an idiot to post it on a forum and not expect it to be shared about a bit. Thanks!

A E/G#

()

Obviously I don't want to infer that being invited onto Friday Night with Wossy

F#m E

isn't wonderfully affirming, and I know I oughta

appreciate the risk you took, the bookers who agreed to book

E/G# F#m

a chap who tends to talk about the kinda things that get the BBC in hot water.

And I don't want to seem greedy, I'm just saying

()

I'd like to be here every week if that's OK.

Fo7(or E7b9/F)

And, if you'll hear me out, I think I've got a way

F#m E D

in which we could do it pretty easily.

You can leave all the boring details to me.

A6 A F#m A

* Eadd2/* /*

It's a brilliant idea, a truly original concept.

A6 A E/B

* Eadd2/*

No one in Britain has ever done anything like it yet.

Picture this - imagine if we had

A E/G# F#m E D

()

five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it's a wicked idea.

A E/G#

Why settle for a quartet of queers

D/F# E

When there's a possibility of a penta-poofter-piano-posse here?

A E/G# F#m E D

()

Five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it'll be ace:

A E/G# D A

a hundred percent more pianos and twenty five percent more gays.

E F# G#

Pickup:

()

I know, I know, I've seen the problem too.

E/A

()

There's a rumour I am straight, it's true.

D/A Dm

()

It hurts to admit it, but I'm about as bent

as Wossy himself or Fiddy Cent.

()

But I've already thought it through.

E/A

()

D'you know there's preachers in America who reckon they can do

sexuality conversions. I've heard them assert

they can cure a man of trouser love and turn him onto skirt.

Well I don't see why they couldn't pull the same trick in reverse, and we'd have -

A E/G# F#m E D

()

five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it's a revolution

A E/G#

and probably the best solution

D E

to the problem you're inevitably having with an even number of homosexuals.

E F# G#

Pickup:

()

Yes I know your producers might suspect

E/A

()

that the licence-paying public will object

D/A D

()

to the Corporation having yet

another homosexual to pay.

()

The Daily Mail will bring the big guns out.

E/A

()

Jan Moir will be frothing at the mouth,

D/A

()

writing further brilliant stuff about

Dm E

()

the myth about being both happy and gay.

F#m F#m A F#m C#

/ /

But all that moral indignation

D/F# A/E

will disappear when they see

D A

those four lovely guys and me

Bm E

singing in perfect harmony.

F#m A

And all those angry letter writers,

D/A

like 'Disgusted' from the Isle of Wight

F#m A

and 'Mad' from Hull and 'Outraged' from Leeds

E E7

Fo7

and 'Slightly Annoyed' from Berwick on Tweed,

F#m E D

will instantly change their tune.

A E

They'll be bleeding-heart liberals by Saturday noon.

They'll be giving their grandchildren up for adoption

E E7

Fo7

in the hope that a gay married couple will adopt 'em.

They'll be putting rainbow stickers on their cars,

G E A

(Bass line -

E F E G A

)

and cutting holes in the arse of their leather strides.

And watching 2 pianos and 5 guys

Watching 2 pianos and 5 guys

G (picks up on the G in the bass line)

Watching 2 pianos and five ..1, 2 ,3, 4,

C G/B Am G F

()

5 poofs and 2 pianos - yeah, it'll be grand.

C G/B F C

You can never have too many pianos or too much man.

C G/B Am F

()

5 poofs and 2 pianos - maybe we could out Jamie Cullum.

G F C

Make it a trio of pianos and a big gay half dozen.

About 5 Poofs And 2 Pianos Chords by Tim Minchin

Learn how to play 5 Poofs And 2 Pianos by Tim Minchin with free guitar chords, lyrics, and interactive chord diagrams. Search for “5 Poofs And 2 Pianos chords”, “5 Poofs And 2 Pianos guitar chords”, or “Tim Minchin 5 Poofs And 2 Pianos chords” and you will find this page — transpose to any key, tap chords for diagrams, and use auto-scroll while you play. Perfect for beginners looking for easy 5 Poofs And 2 Pianos chords and for experienced players who want accurate 5 Poofs And 2 Pianos lyrics and chords in one place. Common chords in this song include A, E/G#, F#m, E, A6, F.

FAQ — 5 Poofs And 2 Pianos by Tim Minchin

How do I play "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" by Tim Minchin on guitar?

Open the free chords for "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" by Tim Minchin on Free Chord Book. Tap any chord to see its diagram, use transpose to change the key, and turn on auto-scroll to play hands-free.

Are the chords for "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" by Tim Minchin free?

Yes. The chords for "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" by Tim Minchin are 100% free on Free Chord Book — no sign-up required.

Can I transpose "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" to a different key?

Yes. Use the transpose buttons on the song page to shift "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" up or down by half-steps so it matches your vocal range or capo position.

Can I see chord diagrams for "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos"?

Yes. Tap any chord in "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" to instantly see an interactive guitar chord diagram with alternate fingerings.

Is "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" easy to play on guitar?

Many players learn "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" by Tim Minchin with our free chords. Use transpose and chord diagrams to simplify tricky shapes, and browse related songs by Tim Minchin below.

What key is "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" in?

The chords for "5 Poofs And 2 Pianos" show the original chord names (including A, E/G#, F#m, E, A6, F). Use transpose to move the song into any key that fits your voice or capo.