{"source":"Free Chord Book","source_url":"https://www.free-chords.com","license_note":"Free for personal use. Lyrics and compositions © their respective songwriters and publishers.","tab_id":70776,"song":"The Vasectomy Song","artist":"Larry Heagle","content_type":"chord","tab_type":"Chords","url":"https://www.free-chords.com/song/11545061-the-vasectomy-song-chords-by-larry-heagle/","api_url":"https://www.free-chords.com/api/v1/songs/70776?type=chord","rating":4.8274,"votes":3,"content":"[Verse 1]\r\n[tab][ch]C[/ch]\r\nWell, I went to see my doctor,[/tab]\r\n[tab]                             [ch]G[/ch]\r\nI said, \"Doc, I can’t pay my bills[/tab]\r\n\r\nThe rent’s all spent and my truck’s got a dent\r\n[tab]                              [ch]C[/ch]\r\nAnd I think I’m a-gettin’ the chills[/tab]\r\n\r\nFrom bein’ forced to sleep alone,\r\n[tab]                            [ch]F[/ch]\r\nOh, this house just ain’t a home[/tab]\r\n[tab]         [ch]G[/ch]\r\nWe can’t afford no more kids[/tab]\r\n\r\nMy life is on the skids\r\n[tab]                                 [ch]C[/ch]\r\nCause my woman says, ‘Leave me alone’[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Chorus]\r\n[tab]                  [ch]G[/ch]\r\nUnless I get a vasectomy,[/tab]\r\n[tab]                  [ch]C[/ch]\r\nI gotta get a vasectomy[/tab]\r\n[tab]      [ch]G[/ch]\r\nJust one little male alteration,[/tab]\r\n[tab]    [ch]C[/ch]\r\nCan save us from another altercation[/tab]\r\n[tab]       [ch]G[/ch]                           [ch]C[/ch]\r\nIt’s a vasectomy, I gotta get a vasectomy[/tab]\r\n[tab]          [ch]F[/ch]         [ch]G[/ch]           [ch]C[/ch]\r\nOh what a vas deferens it could be.\"[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Verse 2]\r\n[tab][ch]C[/ch]\r\nWell, the next thing I knew[/tab]\r\n\r\nI was layin’ on the table\r\n[tab]                              [ch]G[/ch]\r\nWith the lights shinin’ in my eyes[/tab]\r\n\r\nThey strapped my wrists\r\n\r\nAnd they strapped my ankles\r\n[tab]                            [ch]C[/ch]\r\nAnd they double strapped my thighs[/tab]\r\n\r\nThe nurses were gigglin’\r\n[tab]                                  [ch]F[/ch]\r\nAnd I was wigglin’ most uncomfortably[/tab]\r\n[tab]         [ch]G[/ch]\r\nWhen the doctor walked in with a perverted grin[/tab]\r\n[tab]                           [ch]C[/ch]\r\nAnd here’s what he said to me,[/tab]\r\n\r\n\"It only hurts for a little while\r\n[tab]                 [ch]Am[/ch]\r\nThat’s what they tell me[/tab]\r\n\r\nThat’s what they say, eh heh heh.\"\r\n\r\n\r\n[Verse 3]\r\n[tab][ch]C[/ch]\r\nWell, it’s two weeks later[/tab]\r\n\r\nAnd I feel a little better\r\n[tab]                       [ch]G[/ch]\r\nAnd my mind is more at ease[/tab]\r\n\r\nThe rent’s still spent,\r\n\r\nMy truck’s still got a dent\r\n[tab]                           [ch]C[/ch]\r\nBut my woman’s no longer a tease[/tab]\r\n\r\nAnd even down at the office,\r\n[tab]                               [ch]F[/ch]\r\nThere’s a lot more interest in me[/tab]\r\n[tab]        [ch]G[/ch]\r\nOh, the girls all grin when I walk in[/tab]\r\n[tab]                          [ch]C[/ch]\r\nAnd brother, they mean to please[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Chorus]\r\n[tab]               [ch]G[/ch]\r\nA man with a vasectomy,[/tab]\r\n[tab]                   [ch]C[/ch]\r\nYou oughta get a vasectomy[/tab]\r\n\r\nWell, like a Sunkist orange, I’ve been freed\r\n[tab]      [ch]C[/ch]\r\nCause it’s all juice and there’s no seed[/tab]\r\n[tab]         [ch]G[/ch]\r\nWith a vasectomy,[/tab]\r\n[tab]                   [ch]C[/ch]\r\nYou oughta get a vasectomy[/tab]\r\n[tab]           [ch]F[/ch]        [ch]G[/ch]            N.C.\r\nOh, what a vas deferens it could[/tab]\r\n\r\nNow here is the part that I like the most\r\n\r\nIt takes the danger out of bein’ close\r\n[tab]       [ch]F[/ch]        [ch]G[/ch]            N.C.\r\nWant a vas deferens it could[/tab]\r\n\r\nThe snipped those little suckers right in two\r\n\r\nAnd they clamped ‘em off with Super Glue\r\n[tab]       [ch]F[/ch]        [ch]G[/ch]            [ch]C[/ch]\r\nWhat a vas deferens it could be[/tab]","plain_text":"[Verse 1]\n\n\n\nThe rent’s all spent and my truck’s got a dent\n\n\nFrom bein’ forced to sleep alone,\n\n\n\nMy life is on the skids\n\n\n\n[Chorus]\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n[Verse 2]\n\n\nI was layin’ on the table\n\n\nThey strapped my wrists\n\nAnd they strapped my ankles\n\n\nThe nurses were gigglin’\n\n\n\n\n\"It only hurts for a little while\n\n\nThat’s what they say, eh heh heh.\"\n\n\n[Verse 3]\n\n\nAnd I feel a little better\n\n\nThe rent’s still spent,\n\nMy truck’s still got a dent\n\n\nAnd even down at the office,\n\n\n\n\n\n[Chorus]\n\n\n\nWell, like a Sunkist orange, I’ve been freed\n\n\n\n\n\nNow here is the part that I like the most\n\nIt takes the danger out of bein’ close\n\n\nThe snipped those little suckers right in two\n\nAnd they clamped ‘em off with Super Glue","chords":["C","G","F","Am","A"],"chord_diagrams":{"Am":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,0,2,3,1,0],"frets":[-1,0,2,2,1,0]},"C":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,3,2,0,1,0],"frets":[0,3,2,0,1,0]},"F":{"barres":[1],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[1,3,4,2,1,1],"frets":[1,3,3,2,1,1]},"G":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[2,1,0,0,0,3],"frets":[3,2,0,0,0,3]}}}