{"source":"Free Chord Book","source_url":"https://www.free-chords.com","license_note":"Free for personal use. Lyrics and compositions © their respective songwriters and publishers.","tab_id":1847358,"song":"A Country Practice","artist":"Half Man Half Biscuit","content_type":"chord","tab_type":"Chords","url":"https://www.free-chords.com/song/11409283-a-country-practice-chords-by-half-man-half-biscuit/","api_url":"https://www.free-chords.com/api/v1/songs/1847358?type=chord","rating":0,"votes":0,"content":"[Intro]\r\n\r\n[ch]D[/ch]  [ch]Bm[/ch]  [ch]D[/ch]  [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Verse 1]\r\n\r\n[tab]  [ch]D[/ch]                            [ch]Bm[/ch]   [ch]D[/ch]                       [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nI feel like a beggar accepting alms, then being pelted with figs.[/tab]\r\n[tab]  [ch]D[/ch]                   [ch]Bm[/ch]                           [ch]D[/ch]                             [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nI study my steadily declining chart placings; they greet me with freezing cold inhospitality,[/tab]\r\n[tab]     [ch]D[/ch]                           [ch]Bm[/ch]                [ch]D[/ch]  [ch]Bm[/ch] \r\nHey, where did that bloke go who said I was vital?[/tab]\r\n[tab]  [ch]D[/ch]                         [ch]Bm[/ch]                 [ch]D[/ch]                     [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nI possess the mild air of a retail tobacconist, that’s because I’m a retail tobacconist[/tab]\r\n[tab]        [ch]D[/ch]             [ch]Bm[/ch]                          [ch]D[/ch]                   [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nBut the mayflies on a Berkshire trout river would probably tell you a different story[/tab]\r\n[tab]      [ch]D[/ch]                      [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nAbout ham-fisted diadems and momentary daydreams[/tab]\r\n[tab]   [ch]D[/ch]                      [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nOf mythical dividends and illusory boardroom seats.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Instrumental]\r\n\r\n[ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch]  [ch]C[/ch]  [ch]D[/ch]    [ch]D[/ch]  [ch]Bm[/ch]  [ch]D[/ch]  [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Verse 2]\r\n\r\n[tab]       [ch]D[/ch]                   [ch]Bm[/ch]                    [ch]D[/ch]                [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nIn the room festooned with fat beef certificates from county shows[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]D[/ch]                 [ch]Bm[/ch]                    [ch]D[/ch]               [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nDuff Leg Bryn had drank too much again, most of Wem was steering clear of him[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]D[/ch]                           [ch]Bm[/ch]                  [ch]D[/ch]         [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\n “I’ve got no time for this twelfth consecutive Rose Bowl”[/tab]\r\n[tab]        [ch]D[/ch]              [ch]Bm[/ch]               [ch]D[/ch]          [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\n‘Cos on Sunday next at ten to four I’ve got an invitation for[/tab]\r\n[tab]  [ch]D[/ch]                   [ch]Bm[/ch]                   [ch]D[/ch]                       [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nA trip round Kathrine Hamnett’s warehouse, followed by dinner with David Emanuel[/tab]\r\n[tab]      [ch]D[/ch]                           [ch]Bm[/ch]                 [ch]D[/ch]              [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nWho I can’t wait to tell about my dream in which the almost illegal Elton Welsby[/tab]\r\n[tab]   [ch]D[/ch]                             [ch]Bm[/ch]              [ch]D[/ch]                      [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nIs dressed as a French maid on a moonless byway, licking his lips as he creeps ever closer[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]D[/ch]              [ch]Bm[/ch]        [ch]D[/ch]              [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nFast falls the eventide, fast falls the eventide.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Instrumental]\r\n\r\n[ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]C[/ch]  [ch]D[/ch]   [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Verse 3]\r\n\r\n[tab]    [ch]D[/ch]                    [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nThe public appearance of bitter ex-soap stars[/tab]\r\n[tab]    [ch]D[/ch]                               [ch]Bm[/ch]                  [ch]D[/ch]  [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nWho thought they could go on and do other things besides[/tab]\r\n[tab]    [ch]D[/ch]                             [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nThe Centre Court amusement at the ballboy’s mishap[/tab]\r\n[tab]     [ch]D[/ch]                                   [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nThat bobbing up and down thing that they do at the Proms[/tab]\r\n[tab] [ch]D[/ch]                              [ch]Bm[/ch]                            [ch]D[/ch]\r\nOpinionated weather forecasters telling me it’s going to be a miserable day[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]Bm[/ch]                        [ch]D[/ch]                         [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nMiserable to who? I quite like a bit of drizzle, so stick to the facts.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Instrumental]\r\n\r\n [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch]  [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Verse 4]\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]Em[/ch]                            [ch]D[/ch]               [ch]Em[/ch]                    [ch]D[/ch]\r\nChannel Four presents “Blowjob” introduced by Adrian and Sophie Horn[/tab]\r\n[tab]                                  [ch]Em[/ch]                              [ch]D[/ch]                  [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\nWho is of course one bloke with a pierced dick who’s just had the nod from Planet 24.[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]Em[/ch]                       [ch]D[/ch]               [ch]Em[/ch]              [ch]D[/ch]\r\nHear him say “surreal, bizarre, sad git, yes indeedy, completely and utterly[/tab]\r\n[tab]       [ch]Em[/ch]                 [ch]D[/ch]                             [ch]Em[/ch]                           [ch]D[/ch]\r\nFooty, anorak and respect” before whipping the audience up into doing the Time Warp.[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]Em[/ch]                             [ch]D[/ch]\r\nWatch him take us live to “The Queen’s Arse and Firkin”[/tab]\r\n[tab]      [ch]Em[/ch]                            [ch]D[/ch]\r\nWhere Joseph Bloggs And His Amazing Technicolor Shellsuit[/tab]\r\n[tab]    [ch]Em[/ch]                          [ch]D[/ch]\r\nAre about to abort their Steely Dan routine[/tab]\r\n[tab]            [ch]Em[/ch]                             [ch]D[/ch]                    [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\nAnd instead embark upon fifteen minutes of mantra-filled oompah.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Bridge]\r\n\r\nN.C.\r\nFifteen minutes of mantra-filled oompah.\r\nN.C.\r\nFifteen minutes of mantra-filled oompah.\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]Em[/ch]                   [ch]D[/ch]                               [ch]Em[/ch]\r\nAdrian stroke Sophie wants us, the viewers to ring in[/tab]\r\n[tab]                         [ch]D[/ch]\r\nAnd say how we think the punters will react.[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]Em[/ch]                    [ch]D[/ch]                [ch]Em[/ch]\r\nThese are a few of my favourite things.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Instrumental]\r\n\r\n[ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Verse 5]\r\n\r\n[tab]    [ch]D[/ch]                         [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nI’m incredibly bored with the word “millennium”[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]D[/ch]                             [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\n I’m with the Jehovah’s Witnesses.[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]D[/ch]                           [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nMillions now earmarked will later be wasted[/tab]\r\n[tab]    [ch]D[/ch]                    [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nHer Majesty, marvellous, Mother – The Musical.[/tab]\r\n[tab]    [ch]D[/ch]                         [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nThe fireworks lighting up the Houses of Parliament[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]D[/ch]                          [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nDeath in Trafalgar Square, death in the armchair[/tab]\r\n[tab]   [ch]D[/ch]                            [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nOf clichéd old spinsters who’ve never been loved.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Verse 6]\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]D[/ch]               [ch]Bm[/ch]           [ch]D[/ch]                        [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nEvery day is Australia Day, “Sons and Daughters” and “Home and Away”[/tab]\r\n[tab]             [ch]D[/ch]                     [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nAnd then the news comes on and the sound goes down[/tab]\r\n[tab]         [ch]D[/ch]                      [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\n‘Cos she can’t be bothered with all them politicians[/tab]\r\n[tab]        [ch]D[/ch]                           [ch]Bm[/ch]       [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nThey’re all just a bunch of flaming drongo’s.[/tab]\r\n\r\n[tab]    [ch]D[/ch]                              [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nShe died with her telly on, eighty-seven and confused[/tab]\r\n[tab]     [ch]D[/ch]                                     [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nWith not enough hospital beds ‘cos all the money’s been used[/tab]\r\n[tab]       [ch]D[/ch]                  [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nOn the end of the century party preparations[/tab]\r\n[tab]         [ch]D[/ch]                              [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nAnd they reckon that the last thing she saw in her life was[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]D[/ch]                    [ch]Bm[/ch]                    [ch]D[/ch]                    [ch]Bm[/ch]\r\nSting singing on the roof of the Barbican, Sting singing on the roof of the Barbican.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Instrumental]\r\n\r\n[ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] [ch]Bm[/ch] [ch]C[/ch]  [ch]D[/ch]\r\n\r\n\r\n[Outro]\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]E[/ch]                               [ch]A[/ch]                          [ch]E[/ch]\r\nT for Toxteth, T for Tennessee; T for Toxteth, T for Tennessee[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]B7[/ch]                                                 [ch]E[/ch]\r\nT for Thatcher, that girl hath made a wreck out of me.[/tab]\r\n[tab]                  [ch]B7[/ch]              [ch]E[/ch]             [ch]B7[/ch]\r\nOld lady labelled me an idle, old lady labelled me an idle[/tab]\r\n[tab]    [ch]E[/ch]             [ch]B7[/ch]             [ch]E[/ch]    [ch]A[/ch]      [ch]E[/ch]    [ch]A[/ch]      [ch]E[/ch]     [ch]A[/ch]  [ch]E[/ch]\r\nOld lady labelled me an idle layabout.   Layabout.   Layabout.[/tab]","plain_text":"[Intro]\n\nD  Bm  D  Bm\n\n\n[Verse 1]\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n[Instrumental]\n\nD Bm D Bm  C  D    D  Bm  D  Bm\n\n\n[Verse 2]\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n[Instrumental]\n\nD Bm D Bm C  D   D Bm D Bm D Bm D Bm\n\n\n[Verse 3]\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n[Instrumental]\n\n D Bm D Bm  Em D Em D\n\n\n[Verse 4]\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n[Bridge]\n\nN.C.\nFifteen minutes of mantra-filled oompah.\nN.C.\nFifteen minutes of mantra-filled oompah.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n[Instrumental]\n\nD Bm D Bm D Bm D Bm\n\n\n[Verse 5]\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n[Verse 6]\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n[Instrumental]\n\nD Bm D Bm C  D\n\n\n[Outro]","chords":["D","Bm","C","A","Em","E","B7"],"chord_diagrams":{"A":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,0,1,2,3,0],"frets":[-1,0,2,2,2,0]},"B7":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,2,1,3,0,4],"frets":[-1,2,1,2,0,2]},"Bm":{"barres":[2],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,1,3,4,2,1],"frets":[-1,2,4,4,3,2]},"C":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,3,2,0,1,0],"frets":[0,3,2,0,1,0]},"D":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,0,0,1,3,2],"frets":[-1,-1,0,2,3,2]},"E":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,2,3,1,0,0],"frets":[0,2,2,1,0,0]},"Em":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,2,3,0,0,0],"frets":[0,2,2,0,0,0]}}}