{"source":"Free Chord Book","source_url":"https://www.free-chords.com","license_note":"Free for personal use. Lyrics and compositions © their respective songwriters and publishers.","tab_id":1681005,"song":"The Unfortunate Gwatkin","artist":"Half Man Half Biscuit","content_type":"chord","tab_type":"Chords","url":"https://www.free-chords.com/song/11351869-the-unfortunate-gwatkin-chords-by-half-man-half-biscuit/","api_url":"https://www.free-chords.com/api/v1/songs/1681005?type=chord","rating":0.14338,"votes":0,"content":"(intro) [ch]G[/ch] [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch] (x4)\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]           [ch]Em[/ch]                       [ch]C[/ch]             [ch]D[/ch]\r\nI wandered around to the back of the petrochemical plant where they’d found Mr[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                  [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch]  [ch]D[/ch]\r\nGwatkin’s jacket in 1974.   Sleeves turned inside out[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                          [ch]Em[/ch]           [ch]C[/ch]              [ch]D[/ch]\r\nWith a tin of sweetcorn in each pocket. The rumours surrounding his disappearance[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                   [ch]Em[/ch]                [ch]C[/ch]                     [ch]D[/ch]\r\nAre many and varied. Though we should for the time being at least accept the version of[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                         [ch]Em[/ch]                 [ch]C[/ch]                    [ch]D[/ch]      [ch]G[/ch]  [ch]Em[/ch]\r\nEvents given to us by the lamentable chap himself on his eventual return.[/tab]\r\n[tab]              [ch]C[/ch]                [ch]D[/ch]\r\nIn doing this however, we must also keep in our thoughts[/tab]\r\n[tab]    [ch]G[/ch]                  [ch]Em[/ch]           [ch]C[/ch]                  [ch]D[/ch]\r\nThe findings of better minds who conclude that Gwatkin as-is no longer[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]          [ch]Em[/ch]             [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]   [ch]G[/ch] [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]  [ch]G[/ch] [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\nRepresents Gwatkin as-was.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                     [ch]Em[/ch]             [ch]C[/ch]                         [ch]D[/ch]\r\nPiecing together an occasional vague sentence and some garbled chanting heard during the[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]           [ch]Em[/ch]                   [ch]C[/ch]                     [ch]D[/ch]\r\nSmall hours, it appears that our victim was making his way home from the Pessimist[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]           [ch]Em[/ch]                     [ch]C[/ch]             [ch]D[/ch]\r\nFestival in Mollington when he was set upon by a gang of miscreants, the[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                   [ch]Em[/ch]                      [ch]C[/ch]                 [ch]D[/ch]\r\nChief malefactor of whom was a particularly vicious character going by the name of[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]         [ch]Em[/ch]               [ch]C[/ch]                  [ch]D[/ch]\r\nBridgedale. So called on account of a thermal sock with which he[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                   [ch]Em[/ch]                        [ch]C[/ch]                   [ch]D[/ch]      [ch]G[/ch] [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]  [ch]G[/ch] [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\nGloved his fist whenever he became tetchy and needed to punch somethink.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]            [ch]Em[/ch]                    [ch]C[/ch]              [ch]D[/ch]\r\nUnable to comply with the rabble’s hot tempered demands for unreasonable[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]              [ch]Em[/ch]                  [ch]C[/ch]               [ch]D[/ch]\r\nThings such as cathedral juice and vicar shit, the heavily pummelled[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                             [ch]Em[/ch]                [ch]C[/ch]            [ch]D[/ch]\r\nInnocent was dragged into the churchyard of St. Lawrence and there left to his own[/tab]\r\n[tab]  [ch]G[/ch]                 [ch]Em[/ch]             [ch]C[/ch]           [ch]D[/ch]\r\nDevices next to the grave of young Nelson Burt – whose own tragic[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                     [ch]Em[/ch]              [ch]C[/ch]                 [ch]D[/ch]  [ch]G[/ch] [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\nTale is of particular interest to the local historian.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                          [ch]Em[/ch]                [ch]C[/ch]            [ch]D[/ch]\r\nIt is believed that within twenty minutes of this episode, a further attack was witnessed by[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]        [ch]Em[/ch]                  [ch]C[/ch]    [ch]D[/ch] \r\nOne Slow Dempsey of Woodside Farm, who alleged that he saw the[/tab]\r\n[tab] [ch]G[/ch]                   [ch]Em[/ch]                  [ch]C[/ch]            [ch]D[/ch]\r\nAforementioned Bridgedale scuttle a full four hundred feet along the Wervin Turnpike[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]            [ch]Em[/ch]                      [ch]C[/ch]         [ch]D[/ch]  [ch]G[/ch] [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\nTo deliver a perfect Haymaker onto a stray colt.            This afternoon I[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]              [ch]Em[/ch]                      [ch]C[/ch]                            [ch]D[/ch]\r\nVisited Daniel Gwatkin in the confined place which he will probably never leave.[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]             [ch]Em[/ch]                [ch]C[/ch]        [ch]D[/ch]\r\nI was offered redbush tea and a fig roll. The pleasantry gave[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                   [ch]Em[/ch]                   [ch]C[/ch]                 [ch]D[/ch]\r\nHope for lengthy discourse but cheer was swiftly dismissed as the pitiful subject[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                          [ch]Em[/ch]               [ch]C[/ch]                   [ch]D[/ch]\r\nProceeded to gaze out of a large window for what seemed like an age, before[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]                 [ch]Em[/ch]                      [ch]C[/ch]             [ch]D[/ch]\r\nTurning around to fix me with pitch black sockets which simply said[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]          [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]    [ch]G[/ch]                    [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]   [ch]Am[/ch] [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\n“Help me”.            Then came the song:[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]      [ch]Em[/ch]  [ch]C[/ch]          [ch]D[/ch]            [ch]G[/ch]         [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\nCresta!      What the fuck were we drinking?[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]      [ch]Em[/ch]  [ch]C[/ch]          [ch]D[/ch]            [ch]G[/ch]         [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\nCresta!      What the fuck were we drinking?[/tab]\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]          [ch]Em[/ch]     [ch]C[/ch]                [ch]D[/ch]          [ch]G[/ch]          [ch]Em[/ch]          [ch]C[/ch]             [ch]D[/ch]\r\nI write to people, they don’t  get back to me. I write a second time, they don’t reply.[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]           [ch]Em[/ch]        [ch]C[/ch]             [ch]D[/ch]   [ch]G[/ch]           [ch]Em[/ch]   [ch]C[/ch]          [ch]D[/ch]\r\nTo ease the loneliness and pass the time I pace the room, inventing bands;[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]     [ch]Em[/ch]          [ch]C[/ch]           [ch]D[/ch]     [ch]G[/ch]                  [ch]Em[/ch]       [ch]C[/ch]               [ch]D[/ch]\r\nExperimental trio from Borehamwood – ‘Hall, Stairs and Landing’: they’re really good.[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]        [ch]Em[/ch]   [ch]C[/ch]            [ch]D[/ch]          [ch]G[/ch]             [ch]Em[/ch]    [ch]C[/ch]            [ch]D[/ch]\r\nScott Verplank did not get back to me. Newcombe and Roche, still no response.[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]         [ch]Em[/ch]        [ch]C[/ch]          [ch]D[/ch]     [ch]G[/ch]             [ch]Em[/ch]       [ch]C[/ch]              [ch]D[/ch]\r\nCongolesi Unsworth, Glaswegian Runes, the singer’s granddad writes all the tunes.[/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]     [ch]Em[/ch]          [ch]C[/ch]           [ch]D[/ch]    [ch]G[/ch]      [ch]Em[/ch]          [ch]C[/ch]           [ch]D[/ch]\r\nJodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd. Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd.[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]     [ch]Em[/ch]     [ch]C[/ch]            [ch]D[/ch]        [ch]G[/ch] [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\nUh-oh Chongo! It’s Danger Island![/tab]\r\n\r\n\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]       [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch]          [ch]D[/ch]            [ch]G[/ch]\r\nCresta!      What the fuck were we drinking?[/tab]\r\n[tab]      [ch]Em[/ch]          [ch]C[/ch]           [ch]D[/ch]\r\nJodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd.[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]       [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch]          [ch]D[/ch]            [ch]G[/ch]         [ch]Em[/ch] [ch]C[/ch] [ch]D[/ch]\r\nCresta!      What the fuck were we drinking?[/tab]\r\n[tab][ch]G[/ch]\r\nCresta![/tab]","plain_text":"(intro) G Em C D (x4)","chords":["G","Em","C","D","Am"],"chord_diagrams":{"Am":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,0,2,3,1,0],"frets":[-1,0,2,2,1,0]},"C":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,3,2,0,1,0],"frets":[0,3,2,0,1,0]},"D":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,0,0,1,3,2],"frets":[-1,-1,0,2,3,2]},"Em":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[0,2,3,0,0,0],"frets":[0,2,2,0,0,0]},"G":{"barres":[],"baseFret":1,"fingers":[2,1,0,0,0,3],"frets":[3,2,0,0,0,3]}}}